It's the end of the....year!!!

wow. this is the 4th post of 2012. so the average is down to a post every 3 months. not good, but not too bad huh.

guess what, i needa read back my posts to recall roughly what i've done this year. i guess being too busy can be a bad thing...u can't absorb the nutrients properly. maybe i just didn't put in the effort to remember the things...not mentioning the nutrients. maybe my memory power is naturally weak....especially with numbers...i can't rmb shit abt numbers.

anw, for the last few months, i've been schooling. and i've completed two short films in my Directing course. one is group work. one is individual. It's been a mixture of joy and frustrations. but i always like all ranges of emotions displayed while working together, it's a very human thing. so whenever i look back on things, they are all good. the outcome for both films were...acceptable. definitely not good, but not too bad either, haha. the filmmaking experience is still very very new for me...and i can see much much more room for improvement for me...and those room are very fill-able in my opinion. it all comes to putting in more time, care and effort to your craft, and u'll see things getting better. and sometimes, external things will push it to far greater heights. a kind of reward that only the passionate and hardworking can get. i've witnessed these miracles (and tragedies) upon many of my sch mates here, as it's really abt 'what you reap, is what you sow'. the logic is simple, but not many ppl are able to get it. i also always see people concluding on their ability to create things based on their recent works they've made. if it's not good now, then i'm not good at it. i wonder if one is really so farsighted, that they can tell how well they will do in the long run based on their few attempts on the field...or they are just depressed abt the failures, and everything just look bad from that point onwards. hmm, in the end, it's always ppl who are willing to stick to it...at all cost...to get what they want. not that they are farsighted, not are they happy with their works, but its the tedious process of trying get nearer to the goal that have provided them the unique human experience...and then the "lucky" opportunities. apart from the never-say-die attitude and i-love-what-i-do kind of passion, i've observed that there's another key ingredient for things to work out...it's that...nothing-else-matters/nothing-to-lose/no-other-way-out situations that those ppl are in...whether they want it or not. this kind of situation gives them the focus..to keep on doing on that one particular thing...not that they are enjoying much of it or excel in it, it's that they have to do it...like a survival thing. it can be a depressing situation to be it, but it is a wonderful place to start, for the ppl to shine through eventually. if u have so many things else to do, to enjoy, to try, to maintain...u will be spread thin, u are bound to put in lesser effort and time into your craft than those who are in those no-other-way-out situations...striving to achieve the same goal as you. soon, u'll realise that your work will always fell short of your expectations (duh), and more importantly, fell short when compared to others. the message to rmb here is that you don't want to say that you are no better than the other person if you have put in less time and effort on the same thing that you both are working on. btw, there's always someone more hardworking than you, and brighter or more gifted than you. and they are in that "desperate" situations somehow...which spells...a lot of time, effort, concern, concentration put in that subject. YET..ppl still feel bad easily upon (minor) failures which they have not put their whole mind, heart and body into. and they constantly compare themselves with the Greats. this is a joke. and it's happening all the time. I was a part of this joke as well. it's inevitable. lol! i mean, i also compare myself to the greats while putting like 1% of effort and passion of theirs into the subject. now that i've wake up my ideas, i think it's abt time for me to always tell my friends...whoever working/studying in the field of arts...there's a long wayyyyy to go. never feel bad of your work. there's no point to it. it's abt breaking out...of your comfort zone, your bad habit, bad belief, bad taste, bad vision, bad behaviour, bad attitude etc etc. at the end of the day, u may most likely still be many miles or light years away from those masters...who gave their mind, heart, body, soul, god send talent...into just one subject...with much desperation and blessing/curse. with the internet that brings us wikipedia and youtube...we'll soon realise that's the way things work for ages...blessing in disguise...good in bad, bad in good, yin yang, bla bla bla. many things in life can be quite formula-tic...or calculated. it's both good and bad as usual.

and now, i've come to a point that...i know that i'm not ready to push myself to that nothing-else-matters situations...i'm still leading a pretty good life...as a commoner...with a little bit of desperation at times. i'm surrounded with great tools for good artworks...be it film, photography or drawings...i'm blessed with a wonderful family and  friends in my life. it's a living paradise...if i have to compare with the unfortunates...so as to make myself feel better (what a loser, haha).



notice that, i've just compared myself with the people not as good as me. and there are also plenty of them? what can this say? it's about how we frame our life. how we want it to be. we are always in between the mass...people better than us...people worse than us. we are always judging, comparing, calculating, reassuring, re-framing our lives...we deal with things differently, according to their bla bla bla. we have different ways to measure diff things. it's the right thing to do at times, and it's where we make grave mistakes too. different ways to frame your life..without changing the state of your life...can derive to different conclusions about your life, or your progress in life. how to be right everytime? how to make the best out of every situations everytime? it's not enough to list out key ingredients to success...cause ppl can always 'see' things differently. however, i do wish to point out that Attitude comes out to be one of the final few key words that can really point out the root to many problems clearly to us.

Attitude is not as simple as we understood it to be. It's not just about good attitude or bad attitude. the part we usually don't think about is...how to develop the right attitude? how to get there? what is needed to be done? you see, we are too comfortable with the idea that action is the most important thing...after idea...as they are concrete things...a piece of work...and action, a deed. There is an energy that flow through this action...and the most important one, is the attitude of doing that thing, the energy of that attitude. we thought that the production part is where action happens...thinking and imagining are not really actions...less about attitude. but then, for a attitude to become good, strong, positive attitude...lots of work has to be done. it's built upon your everyday belief, practise, behavior, activity etc. it's intangible...but it matters the most in the end. we all have an attitude towards ourselves, our life, our work etc...and it governs how we see, interpret and conclude on things...or simply, how we frame things. attitude needs to be slowly build and craft upon...you cant' adjust/decide yourself to adopt a good attitude now...and then a bad attitude next. it doesn't break down this way. it is the sum of all your actions. every second counts. every next action carries the 'total sum of all your attitude on all things you've worked on'...it evolves as you work on. and if you want to have good discipline, strong will and passion...then u better developed a good attitude to the things you do...including brushing your teeth if you know what i am saying here.

therefore, i'm saying that...the best work of a person...is directly related to the person's (best) (overall) attitude. and usually when u see that the work is really good, u'll see that the creator has a strong attitude in the way he/she live his/her life. i can't say it's a good attitude...as i can't define what is good for an attitude...but strong or firm it definitely is. when we try to find out what how the person can achieve or make those great things...we want to hear them explain how they see and believe in things, more than how it is physically done. it's the strong attitude that we are attracted to. it's the strong attitude that delivers. and we can see it 'glowing' when the person speaks, look at others, smile, explains, describe, act, breath etc etc. it's all there. it's a craft...which is built consciously or unconsciously. and if u want to consciously develop a strong attitude...then you must ask for wisdom, it's a mind and soul job. in the end, there are plenty of 'mental actions' needed before a good move can be made in life. try not to depend on luck. it can be worked out. every second, you are given the opportunity to develop it...or to dampened it.

Cheers to strong attitude in life!

Wish everyone happy 2013!!! :D