It's the end of the....year!!!

wow. this is the 4th post of 2012. so the average is down to a post every 3 months. not good, but not too bad huh.

guess what, i needa read back my posts to recall roughly what i've done this year. i guess being too busy can be a bad thing...u can't absorb the nutrients properly. maybe i just didn't put in the effort to remember the things...not mentioning the nutrients. maybe my memory power is naturally weak....especially with numbers...i can't rmb shit abt numbers.

anw, for the last few months, i've been schooling. and i've completed two short films in my Directing course. one is group work. one is individual. It's been a mixture of joy and frustrations. but i always like all ranges of emotions displayed while working together, it's a very human thing. so whenever i look back on things, they are all good. the outcome for both films were...acceptable. definitely not good, but not too bad either, haha. the filmmaking experience is still very very new for me...and i can see much much more room for improvement for me...and those room are very fill-able in my opinion. it all comes to putting in more time, care and effort to your craft, and u'll see things getting better. and sometimes, external things will push it to far greater heights. a kind of reward that only the passionate and hardworking can get. i've witnessed these miracles (and tragedies) upon many of my sch mates here, as it's really abt 'what you reap, is what you sow'. the logic is simple, but not many ppl are able to get it. i also always see people concluding on their ability to create things based on their recent works they've made. if it's not good now, then i'm not good at it. i wonder if one is really so farsighted, that they can tell how well they will do in the long run based on their few attempts on the field...or they are just depressed abt the failures, and everything just look bad from that point onwards. hmm, in the end, it's always ppl who are willing to stick to it...at all cost...to get what they want. not that they are farsighted, not are they happy with their works, but its the tedious process of trying get nearer to the goal that have provided them the unique human experience...and then the "lucky" opportunities. apart from the never-say-die attitude and i-love-what-i-do kind of passion, i've observed that there's another key ingredient for things to work out...it's that...nothing-else-matters/nothing-to-lose/no-other-way-out situations that those ppl are in...whether they want it or not. this kind of situation gives them the focus..to keep on doing on that one particular thing...not that they are enjoying much of it or excel in it, it's that they have to do it...like a survival thing. it can be a depressing situation to be it, but it is a wonderful place to start, for the ppl to shine through eventually. if u have so many things else to do, to enjoy, to try, to maintain...u will be spread thin, u are bound to put in lesser effort and time into your craft than those who are in those no-other-way-out situations...striving to achieve the same goal as you. soon, u'll realise that your work will always fell short of your expectations (duh), and more importantly, fell short when compared to others. the message to rmb here is that you don't want to say that you are no better than the other person if you have put in less time and effort on the same thing that you both are working on. btw, there's always someone more hardworking than you, and brighter or more gifted than you. and they are in that "desperate" situations somehow...which spells...a lot of time, effort, concern, concentration put in that subject. YET..ppl still feel bad easily upon (minor) failures which they have not put their whole mind, heart and body into. and they constantly compare themselves with the Greats. this is a joke. and it's happening all the time. I was a part of this joke as well. it's inevitable. lol! i mean, i also compare myself to the greats while putting like 1% of effort and passion of theirs into the subject. now that i've wake up my ideas, i think it's abt time for me to always tell my friends...whoever working/studying in the field of arts...there's a long wayyyyy to go. never feel bad of your work. there's no point to it. it's abt breaking out...of your comfort zone, your bad habit, bad belief, bad taste, bad vision, bad behaviour, bad attitude etc etc. at the end of the day, u may most likely still be many miles or light years away from those masters...who gave their mind, heart, body, soul, god send talent...into just one subject...with much desperation and blessing/curse. with the internet that brings us wikipedia and youtube...we'll soon realise that's the way things work for ages...blessing in disguise...good in bad, bad in good, yin yang, bla bla bla. many things in life can be quite formula-tic...or calculated. it's both good and bad as usual.

and now, i've come to a point that...i know that i'm not ready to push myself to that nothing-else-matters situations...i'm still leading a pretty good life...as a commoner...with a little bit of desperation at times. i'm surrounded with great tools for good artworks...be it film, photography or drawings...i'm blessed with a wonderful family and  friends in my life. it's a living paradise...if i have to compare with the unfortunates...so as to make myself feel better (what a loser, haha).



notice that, i've just compared myself with the people not as good as me. and there are also plenty of them? what can this say? it's about how we frame our life. how we want it to be. we are always in between the mass...people better than us...people worse than us. we are always judging, comparing, calculating, reassuring, re-framing our lives...we deal with things differently, according to their bla bla bla. we have different ways to measure diff things. it's the right thing to do at times, and it's where we make grave mistakes too. different ways to frame your life..without changing the state of your life...can derive to different conclusions about your life, or your progress in life. how to be right everytime? how to make the best out of every situations everytime? it's not enough to list out key ingredients to success...cause ppl can always 'see' things differently. however, i do wish to point out that Attitude comes out to be one of the final few key words that can really point out the root to many problems clearly to us.

Attitude is not as simple as we understood it to be. It's not just about good attitude or bad attitude. the part we usually don't think about is...how to develop the right attitude? how to get there? what is needed to be done? you see, we are too comfortable with the idea that action is the most important thing...after idea...as they are concrete things...a piece of work...and action, a deed. There is an energy that flow through this action...and the most important one, is the attitude of doing that thing, the energy of that attitude. we thought that the production part is where action happens...thinking and imagining are not really actions...less about attitude. but then, for a attitude to become good, strong, positive attitude...lots of work has to be done. it's built upon your everyday belief, practise, behavior, activity etc. it's intangible...but it matters the most in the end. we all have an attitude towards ourselves, our life, our work etc...and it governs how we see, interpret and conclude on things...or simply, how we frame things. attitude needs to be slowly build and craft upon...you cant' adjust/decide yourself to adopt a good attitude now...and then a bad attitude next. it doesn't break down this way. it is the sum of all your actions. every second counts. every next action carries the 'total sum of all your attitude on all things you've worked on'...it evolves as you work on. and if you want to have good discipline, strong will and passion...then u better developed a good attitude to the things you do...including brushing your teeth if you know what i am saying here.

therefore, i'm saying that...the best work of a person...is directly related to the person's (best) (overall) attitude. and usually when u see that the work is really good, u'll see that the creator has a strong attitude in the way he/she live his/her life. i can't say it's a good attitude...as i can't define what is good for an attitude...but strong or firm it definitely is. when we try to find out what how the person can achieve or make those great things...we want to hear them explain how they see and believe in things, more than how it is physically done. it's the strong attitude that we are attracted to. it's the strong attitude that delivers. and we can see it 'glowing' when the person speaks, look at others, smile, explains, describe, act, breath etc etc. it's all there. it's a craft...which is built consciously or unconsciously. and if u want to consciously develop a strong attitude...then you must ask for wisdom, it's a mind and soul job. in the end, there are plenty of 'mental actions' needed before a good move can be made in life. try not to depend on luck. it can be worked out. every second, you are given the opportunity to develop it...or to dampened it.

Cheers to strong attitude in life!

Wish everyone happy 2013!!! :D

Moonlight Sonata

always like the first part of Moonlight Sonata. well, it is the most famous part that everyone is familiar with and fond of. it was at youtube that i got to listen to the full version, which consists of 3 parts or in professional term, 3 movements. i'm at awe the first time i listened to it. i wish to describe how i think and feel about the music, or how has the music made me think and feel. but i don't wish affect anyone's first experience with it. then of course, maybe many of u guys have already heard of it, and i'm the "late" person, haha. anyway, enjoy the music. and thanks youtube again.

and oh, there was a stretch where i was really busy with work, and hence i really...completely forgot to blog! and so, i didn't update for april and may. as for june, i was really busy with enjoying my holidays...so i skipped blogging, to save time :P  but hey, i won't stop blogging. this shit will go on. it must. hahaha! and once in a blue moon, i'll go back and read my earlier posts. i was pretty impressed that i can still agree with my younger self when "he" is trying to talk "sense". and for sure, i would laugh at my own jokes. and at times, i would have to put in some effort to connect to my younger self's frequency...he's pretty random indeed.

now, i wonder how i will see the current me from this post in the future. i wonder if i can tell myself what i thought and felt about the Moonlight Sonata, when i didn't actually write it down here, haha. aiya, it's nothing much actually. just some thoughts like..."this is the best piano music EVER"...like those u always see in the youtube site, where the fans will comment in this way for the video that they like. best EVER~~.

yea, there is no such thing as best ever. even for Moonlight Sonata.

cool. good night.

March On

wow, i missed the posting 'deadline' for the month of February! If I recall correctly, i was busy having fun. Had my Chinese New Year Celebration in Shen Zhen, and the 春晚show was very entertaining to watch. the 相声 were all hilarious and meaningful to watch. the stage was very high tech! formed up with many many many large cubes of around 2 meters in length...and this large platform is incredibly flexible as these cubes can move up and down to various height...to form different kinds of stage for each performance. and each side of the cube, except for the bottom one, is a full screen...that will help make up the mise-en-scene for the stage. very effective and nice to watch!

and now, March is going to be over soon! oh my...time flies! i hope this is doing me good. as of 03 March, i've officially became 24 years old. oh my...time flies! i hope this is doing me good XD.
Big thanks to the people who wished me happy birthday. really appreciate it! thanks for the love and support. as i occasionally miss the timing on wishing you guy's a happy birthday, i hereby wish everyone love and peace! keep moving forward! cheers!

Currently, i am busy helping out my senior to finish her Final Year Project. It is compulsory for the second year student (me) to help out the final year student on their fyp, which will be a short film of around 30 mins long. As much as, my senior is planning for a simple film production...things just naturally gets more complicated as we try to get it done...hence, the intended period for filming has been extended. each extra day of work can be very demoralising and costly. but this is really part of the game if you want to do film. YES, i am getting pretty paranoid, and have been thinking much for my own fyp which will occur somewhere around this time next year. Similarly, i aim for very simple set up, in terms of location, story structure, number of actors etc...so that i can manage them well. but as a story guy, i aim to get the story develop/evolve into its best form...and that's where things get out of hand. I am having this idea which i want to work on further, but as i didn't limit how my story flows...more and more characters start to jump in into the story, same for locations. as much as i am enjoying this 'crazy ride' in my mind, i fear that i have overdevelop it to something i love but can't be done. houleeshit. i have a hunch that i will have to ruthlessly cut down the story or simplify it...which i think will lose lots of energy to the work. damn.

other memorable events during march, the great master, Moebius, has passed away. I totally love his works and they are absolutely inspiring for me. Rest in Peace.

and the election for Chief Executive for Hong Kong is over. Leung won. but most people in Hong Kong were angry with result, saying that it is not what the people want. The people of Hong Kong wants a re-election as they believe that this is a 'small-circle election' where the public have very little say in the event. People are saying Hong Kong is dying. but then again, which country is doing really well nowadays? very very few i guess. we are all struggling. but i hope that we don't get too negative to the negative things that WILL happen. one might think that there is another way to this problem, but most of the time, things just have to happen the wrong way. still, i'm glad to see that people of hong kong are very clear of what is doing good or bad for their city, and they will stand up and defend the good things (freedom, justice etc) when necessary. However, i have this feeling that everyone is feeling very low here....maybe they are right that the city is really dying...but i think the frustrations and anger should be transmitted to some other channels which will do Hong Kong well, instead of doing self-mocking and stuff. Hong Kong people have great passion. we all can feel it. Make good use of it, and Hong Kong will never die.

Okay, that's all. i'm late for class, haha!

More Mojo Needed

Man, I’m pretty sure I’m losing my mojo to blog recently. Hmmm…

….

Okay let’s talk about 2011…it is pretty good overall. I did a proper filming project with my schoolmates for Cinematography class. It took around 5 or 6 days to finish the shoot. The whole team has around 13 people. And I’m in the lighting group, to help out with the lighting of course, haha. The whole filming thing is pretty rewarding for me as I got to experience something I have never try before but have always wanted to try. I must say that we are just a bunch of students trying to create a 15 minutes plus film…getting things done the way we want to and the way we can best get things done…hence I didn’t quite get the “professional” experience in filming yet. But then again, apart from the difference in equipments (those A-class filming equipments) and other areas like professional actors, higher budget bla bla bla…I have to say this project has really allow me to understand a lot more about filming….(the-making-part I must emphasised)…and it is really pretty damn life-draining….and pretty damn time and money costly. But I always enjoy to be a part of a group of people doing something wholeheartedly…with might and passion…(haha!)…and I got this wonderful atmosphere again while doing this project. (Yea, reminds me of the good old days when I was playing for my sec sch basketball team and doing final year project with my poly mates.) The final output of this film project was pretty good…though I think the story can be much better. Well, it’s very difficult for us to do what we know that can make the film better when we don’t have lots of money and connection and stuff…so we always find the most effective way to tell the story…which is just another way of saying simplifying the parts or the whole thing to something more manageable…which leads to lowering the output’s quality. Well, such problem and approach to overcome the problem happens everywhere…just that the “form” is different. Right?

I still love films, more than ever. But I’m really not seeing myself enjoying every bits of the filming process…unlike when I’m drawing. I really like moving images edited nicely together to create drama, along with great sound effect and music etc…but it just takes too many things to do it…(there are much to elaborate on this, but I’m fast forwarding to the key point) ... when I realized that drawing can create drama too, and it only requires me alone to achieve it… I really begin to see what I should really be crazy about over the next few years.

Well, this is me…talking again. Hope that this is not a meaningless post.

Oh oh, btw, I can never be a vegetarian as I’m just not disciplined enough.

Really quite disappointed with myself. As for now, I will only eat chicken, follow by pork and seafood. I will limit myself not eat beef and mutton…but will still eat if there is no other option and I’m freaking hungry etc. My stupid logic is that it’s okay to kill chickens, pigs and fishes, but it’s cruel to kill cows and sheep. No-sense. Oh yea, whenever there is some vegetarian food around, it will still be my top priority….provided it is not too expensive, lol. damn, it’s hard to live in this world isn’t it?

Okay, that’s all for now :)